Being a financial advisor brings many positive experiences — helping clients buy their first home, pay for their children’s college, and pursue their life and retirement goals. It also comes with the occasional emotional blow. None hit harder than the death of a client.
If you’ve been a planner for a long time, you’ve probably experienced this yourself. If you’re just starting out, it’s an experience you’ll likely face throughout your career. In either case, it’s never easy and coping with the fallout can be complicated.
Here are a few ways I’ve learned to approach this difficult but important topic.
Prepare for the loss
The client may know what’s coming days or months before their time actually comes. It can be shocking to walk into a meeting and discover your client is nearing the end of their life. No matter how surprising the situation may be, it’s important you continue to do your job, to be a voice of reason and to make sure their finances are in order.
Check and double-check to ensure that all of their beneficiary designations are in place,
Some of these can be arranged in advance. Others you can discuss with the family down the line, if they so choose. If the client has a spouse, arrange a meeting between the three of you in order to work through these details together.
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Forge a relationship with the family
Dealing with the family of a client who has recently passed is a delicate matter. I often attend the client’s funeral, both to offer condolences and to reflect on their life’s achievements. I also reach out every year on the client’s birthday as a way to continue the relationship with the family of a valued client and friend, as well as to check in on how they’re doing.
Many times, your relationship with the family will extend beyond shared grieving. You may continue to act as an advisor for your client’s money.
For example, I’ve worked with family members who have wanted to spend their money in ways the client wouldn’t have wanted or approved. If this happens, it’s best to rely on past conversations you had with the client to give your best advice to the family. Plant the seeds of what the client would have preferred, and hope the family understands and sticks to this guidance.
Don’t check your own emotions at the door
As advisors, we often develop close personal relationships with our clients. We might attend dinners or events with them and meet with them several times every year to learn the ins and outs of their lives, their hopes and dreams. Because of this, losing a client often feels like losing a friend.
It can be tempting to shut yourself off from forming these relationships with clients in order to avoid the grief that comes with such loss. It’s certainly important not to change the way you relate and interact with your other clients.
However, the personal nature of these relationships is part of what makes this profession so special. Denying that form of connection will only harm your business relationships, as well as your personal ones.
Death is an inevitable part of life. All we can do is move forward, thoughtfully and respectively, and do our best to fulfill our clients’ wishes in life and afterward.
