The number of individuals reporting familial estrangement — the long-term breakdown of relationships between family members — is on the rise.
A recent study by the Cornell Family Reconciliation Project reported that 27% of Americans — approximately 68 million — are estranged from a family member. Twenty-four percent of that number are estranged from a child and 14% are estranged from a parent, according to Karl Pillemer, the project's director. There are a multitude of reasons that can cause estrangement, including conflicting values and past abuse. Divorce, in particular,
Such complex family dynamics make crafting estate plans more challenging, especially for those who are estranged from their children or when siblings are estranged from each other.
Wills and powers of attorney
The cornerstone of an
Unfortunately, there is no way to prevent such challenges. The client's best defense is to create a well-designed, thoughtful will and
A will that disinherits a child completely can bring state laws into play. Some states allow an adult child to be disinherited, but prohibit disinheriting minor children. If offspring can be disinherited, the will should state that the client is intentionally excluding the child as a beneficiary. Some attorneys recommend explaining why the child is disinherited in a separate letter, but other attorneys advise against this as it may give the child grounds to contest the will. Putting language like this in writing can be difficult for the client; they may feel that it is cruel or gives the estrangement an air of finality, with no hope of future reconciliation. However, failing to specify that the child was intentionally disinherited may provide grounds to challenge the will by claiming they were merely forgotten, rather than intentionally excluded.
Even if the challenge is not successful, it will lead to wasted resources and time as the estate is tied up in litigation. Remind the client that the will always can be changed if the relationship improves and the client has capacity. If the client does not want to leave assets to the child directly but does want to provide for grandchildren borne from the child, the client can utilize a trust to name the grandchildren as beneficiaries.
If the client wants to leave the estranged child some assets, either in recognition of their prior relationship or to avoid guilt, they should also ensure that a no-contest provision is included in the will, which disinherits the child if they contest the will for a larger share. The no-contest clause only applies to
Selection of fiduciaries
A critical component of an
Clients should also consider how their estate choices will impact children that they are not estranged from — particularly if the estranged child is estranged from their siblings. If siblings had a poor relationship during life, that relationship is likely to deteriorate even further after the parent dies. A client should avoid using the estate plan to mend or create relationships. Naming an estranged child as an executor or power of attorney in conjunction with the non-estranged child will likely create conflict. Leaving assets to children equally may cause them to become joint owners in real estate or co-owners of a business. They will need to make decisions together, and they cannot resolve their differences, these disagreements can result in costly litigation.
Previous wills or powers of attorney that left the estranged child assets or named them as a fiduciary must be revoked. A will can be revoked by destroying any existing copies of the document and taking any other revocation measures required under state law.
In some cases, the most recent power of attorney document will automatically revoke the older one; however, the state may require a formal revocation document be created and provided to the estranged child.
Processing grief
Estrangement among family members is a painful and sad situation for all parties involved. In many ways, estrangement is similar to the death of the family member and involves processing the grief around the loss of the relationship. As a financial advisor, you can offer support to your clients, recommending that they seek the services of a therapist, counselor or support group, if they haven't already. These avenues can help your client deal with the depression, shame and feelings of isolation that are common in estrangement situations.
